BACK OF THE MEATWAGON, YOU MUG. PT.1

BACK OF THE MEATWAGON, YOU MUG. PT.1 by G∇RNT∑∀⨇

October 13, 2008, 11:02 am
Filed under: Death, Tricknowledgy

I read about the recent plight regarding O.J. Simpson getting sent down for literally running up in a Las Vegas hotel. He was reportedly very cross and armed with a desert eagle and was wailing a crowbar around like a complete nutter. I think his aim was to seize back his memorabilia which he had either previously auctioned off or sold for money.

We all know the real reason that anyone still gives a fuck or even knows about O.J. is (other than a hall-of fame-inducted American football career and a starring role in Ace Ventura,) because he killed his ex-wife and her new bit of fluff.

He then inspired the phenomena that is GTA by having an massive, long winded cop chase (which in his case would probably have been the equivalent of a 5 star law-breaking frenzy), and his cheats in ‘human game mode’ didn’t work so he couldn’t have the standard equipped bazookas or grenade launchers for the helicopters, (which always come in handy).

So he got nicked.

So that was the inspiration for the most famous and funny mugshots I could find which poses the question, why do famous people think they are the stars of their own video games?

HIP HOP MUGS.

R MUGGY

R&B Super Star
R. Kelly was arrested in Miami on 12 counts of possession of child pornography. Authorities searched Kelly’s Davenport, Florida home and seized camera equipment which alledgedly had pictures of Kelly “involved in sexual conduct with the female minor.”

On March 17, 2004, Circuit Judge Dennis Maloney ruled that the police did not have enough evidence to justify searching Kelly’s home and that the pictures were illegally seized. Prosecutors did not appeal Maloney’s decision and ultimately dropped the charges.

Kelly has always maintained that he was innocent of all charges against him.

DMUGX

woof woof

On June 24, 2004 DMX was held in central lockup in Queens, New York after being arrested at Kennedy Airport’s parking lot after he and another man were allegedly caught trying to steal a car then fighting with the car’s owner. DMX allegedly crashed through the parking-lot gate, shouting to the parking lot attendant that he was as an FBI agent. He then stopped another driver and tried to force him out of his car, also identifying himself as an FBI agent.

DMX pleaded guilty to driving under the influence and reckless endangerment and was fined $1,000, was sentenced to a conditional discharge, had his license suspended for six months and had to forfeit his 1998 Ford Expedition SUV.

TUPAC MUGUR

PAC RIP

On November 18, 1993, Tupac “2Pac” Shakur was arrested for sexually abusing a 19-year-old woman, who he met in a New York nightclub, and allegedly sodomized and sexually abused with three of his friends. In 1995, he was sentenced to prison for up to four and a half years, but received an early release after a few months. In September 1996, the 25-year-old Shakur was shot four times in the chest and died from the wounds.

50 MUGS

BLACK HOMER SIMPSON?

At the age of 19, rap singer 50 Cent plead guilty to selling heroin and crack cocaine.

In a more recent case, 50 Cent was sentenced to two years probation on July 22, 2005 from an incident in May 2004 when 50 Cent jumped into the audience after being hit with a water bottle. He was charged with three counts of assault and battery.

LIL MUG

Wheezy baby

Lil Wayne, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., was arrested on Jan. 23, 2008 by the Border Patrol at at checkpoint in Yuma County, AZ, after officers searched the 25 year-old rapper’s tour bus and alledgedly found marijuana, cocaine, Ecstasy and handguns. On Feb. 8, Carter pleaded not guilty to the charges of one count each of possession of a narcotic drug for sale, possession of dangerous drugs, misconduct involving weapons and possession of drug paraphernalia.

MUGGLE KIM

QUEEN BEE

Lil’ Kim was arrested in New Jersey in July 1996 for possession of marijuana. The arrest took place after police raided the home of the late Notorious B.I.G. Various members of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. were arrested after authorities found weapons and marijuana. Her legal problems did not end there.In April 2004, Jones was indicted for lying to a federal grand jury after testified that she did not notice that two of her close friends at a shootout between members of her “entourage” and the rival rap group, Capone-N-Norega. On March 17, 2005, she was convicted of perjury and conspiracy, but acquitted of obstruction of justice charges. On July 6, she was sentenced to a year and a day in prison and fined $50,000 for this conviction.

SNOOP MUGGY DOGG

Calvin Broadus

1990s – Snoop Dog was arrested for possession of cocaine. Over the next three years he spent time in and out of prison.

July 1993 – Snoop was stopped for a traffic violation and a firearm was found by police while conducting a search of his car. In February 1997 he plead guilty to one count of being an ex-felon in possession of a handgun and was ordered to record three public service announcements, pay a $1,000 fine, and serve three years probation.

August 1993 – Snoop was charged for being an accomplice to the murder of Phillip Woldermarian. In February 1996, with the help of attorney Jonnie Cochran, Snoop was found not guilty of all charges but voluntary manslaughter, on which the jury deadlocked.

May 1998 – Snoop Doggy Dogg was arrested for misdemeanor marijuana possession. He was fined of $100, plus a $170 penalty assessment fee and a $100 payment to the Victim’s Restitution Fund, for a total cost of $370.

October 2001 – Snoop was charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, after his tour bus was stopped and searched in Ohio. In May 2002 he pleaded no contest to the charge and was fined a total of $398.30 and a suspended 30-day jail sentence.

Ason Mugnique, The Bebop MUG Specialist, ODB, Big Mugy Jesus, BZA, Dirt Mug, Dirt McGirt, Joe Bananas, Osirus, The Professor of MUG

Joey B. RIP

August 1999 – Jones was pulled over in Queens, New York, after running a red light. Police searched the car and found narcotics. He was arrested for possessing a narcotic with intent to sell and was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance in the third degree, criminal possession of a controlled substance in the fifth degree, aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle in the second degree, unlawful possession of marijuana, driving by unlicensed operator, and disobeying the red traffic signal light.

August 1999 – Ten days after his arrest in Queens on drug charges, a bench warrant was issued for OBD’s arrest for failing to appear in a Los Angeles Criminal Court for his February 1999 arrest for wearing a bulletproof vest.

November 1999 – Jones was sentenced to one year in a drug rehabilitation facility and three years formal probation in Los Angeles for making terrorist threats (Sept. 98) and wearing a bulletproof vest (Feb. 99).

January 2000 – Jones was kicked out of the drug rehabilitation facility for getting drunk.

March 2000 – Jones was sent to the California Department of Corrections for a 90-day evaluation for violating his probation after being kicked out of the rehabilitation facility in January.

June 2000 – After completing the 90-day evaluation, ODB was sentenced to spend 180 days at a drug treatment facility after pleading no contest to violating his probation in March.

October 2000 – A “no-bail” bench warrant has been issued for ODB after the rapper ran away from drug-treatment facility he was court ordered to go to for 180 days.

November 2000 – ODB was arrested at a McDonald’s restaurant in Philadelphia after being a fugitive from police for over a month.

July 2001 – ODB was sentenced in Queens, New York to two to four years, for his August 1999 drug charges.

October 2001 – A Los Angeles Superior Court judge sentenced Jones to two years in prison for fleeing a drug rehab center. His sentence was to run concurrently with his New York prison sentence.

February 2003 – ODB was moved from prison to a psychiatric hospital in the New York City.

May 2003 – ODB leaves the psychiatric hospital and changes his name to Dirt McGirt.

PART 2 TOMORROW….