Here at Gurn we not only try and enlighten you with old school flava and random murmurings we also try and plug our acquaintances. Well at least those we like who have a certain ‘je ne sais pas’ about them. You know, a particular ‘ressortez la qualité’? Feel me? So i’m at work on my lunch break tryin to peep the hottie from upstairs and ambush her ass on the stair case when i’m browsing for some arty shit to talk about and on our blog roll is: The Brain Of Alex Young. There you have it, bang.
Alex ‘Smashing Legs’ Young (snooker name) draws stuff and his website is borderline cool so go check it out.
Aw pal Al, bless ya mate.
Meryl Smith Art
“Materials: metal screen, paper mache, leather, gold paint, zipper
‘I made “excessory baggage” for a group exhibition at The Honey Space, where 5 curators asked artists to create sculptures that fit the measurement requirements for international carry-on luggage.’ “
Basically my crooning friend Graham Hulbert has had a life long ambition to be a famous musician for the fame, women, sex, drugs and sack, back and crack wax!! this is finally his chance (not his final chance but, u get what i mean)…
Thanks to the good people who take the time to look at our blog and like what they see, (btw Doll and the Kicks got to perform in Beniscassiam!) SO now we’re hoping to get Gray some T4 pussy!! ai’aight!! So Vote for him and stop fucking around!!
If u would like to here his Three-Six mafia inspired rythms peep his space at:
http://www.myspace.com/grahamhulbert
Peep his face here:
And vote for my boy here, by registering and voting on the daily.
http://orangeunsignedact.co.uk/acts/gray-hulbert
P.s Dont do acid, it’s really bad!!
In the beginning…
Early in 1984, Nike was a struggling shoe company. The running shoe phenomenon that has fueled their sales in previous years was slowly dying and they needed a way to revitalize and reinvent themselves in order to appeal to another segment of the market. At the same time, rookie player Michael Jordan was already endorsing several products, but Nike hoped that his appeal would generate sales. Jordan, though, had other ideas. He had always preferred Adidas or the Converse shoes endorsed by North Carolina Coach, Dean Smith, and hoped to sign on with either company. Converse, with Larry Bird and Magic Johnson on board as spokesmen, were not interested in offering a better deal than Nike, and Adidas wasn’t interested at all at the time; perhaps due to Kathe Dassler’s death the same year. While Jordan, himself, did not initially see the significance of Nike’s offer, his agent, David Falk, saw a golden opportunity in Nike’s offer to create a new line of shoes called “Air Jordans.” and urged him to give Nike a chance.
The Shoes Changed the World
Air Jordan shoes have consistently been among the best selling basketball shoes since their creation in 1985. The Jordan brand is a household name and people of all ages and social strata line up eagerly for the release of the latest model. Some of this success can be attributed to the fact that the shoes, from the Jordan III to the most recent model, have always started with their namesake, Michael Jordan. The designers take his ideas, hobbies, and life into account and incorporate these feelings into the shoes. A number of Jordans have been designed after Jordan’s cars and some of the more recent models, like the Jordan XXI (Jordan 21) on the way, some wonder when the Air Jordan line will be retired while others speculate that, in honor of the man, the last Air Jordan will be the Jordan XXIII (Jordan 23). No matter what happens to the signature Air Jordan line, it’s a good bet that the brand and its tradition of quality, high-fashion basketball and athletic shoes will continue long after Air Jordans have retired.
SWOOOOOOSSSHHHHH
A few homies are doing their fashin thug-thizzle…
Farah Winning for men and Tom Wakeford for women….
thought i’d put them up as we love to promote those we believe in firmly sayin that u should too!!
so watch out for the beautiful Farah Winning’s Garms
And our boy Tom Wakeford.
Crak over and out!
“I could sup a whole tin of Carnation condensed milk, just for the taste, stupid things like that. Marks & Spencer trifles, I still love them, one of my favourites. I can eat them for ever. Whenever I go to Mr Chu’s in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world I could eat my way through the entire menu (and then puke it down the toilet for ages until my throat felt like I’d been snorting caustic soda)”
Even fat old man politicians from Hull get eating disorders. Apparently.
Seagulls aww they’re like totaly cute, white fluffy birds that hang about on the beach… eeeeerrrrrr wrong!
Those muthafuckas are cereal killers at best! I was watching passion of the Je-Sus on easter Monday, didnt realize it was easter Monday at the time as I am unemployed and chose not to leave the house, I mean the living room, er I mean the couch and in it when they were pinging those homies to their cross paraphanelia one dude cussed Je-Sus and the next thing a black crow came along and snatched that bitches eye ball out!!
What I’m gettin at is that whoever casted that crow did the Croatian man dem a disservice because seagulls should have replaced that tiny black bird… now not trying to be xenophobic or nuttin but i officially want to buy an air rifle and go real-life-sea-gull-shooting ala pebble land! Why? You may wonder as your eyes and mind begin to bore of this triumphant gibberish. I’ll fucking tell you - sit back, relax and strap on your seat belt….
I’d ventured into town for an afternoon stroll which involves seeing the weekends damage to my bank balance first hand then, topping up the blower, followed by frantic calls to link some little bo-peeps in tizzzooowwn… nuthing is shaking so i say allow it and head back to the shire.
At this point I’m thinking of chicken, sage leafs, some next level meat, spinach and ting ting that i didn’t get invited too (it’s all love me fellow gurners) so i 2-step to the local fish and chip mongers run by my homie Asian Eddie (thats not his real name but I’m holdin it down due to copy-write infringement)…
Asian Eddie: What up daddio?Crack: Nutinz gwanning Little E? But I’ll tell u what it’s colder than a muthafucker out there u feel me?
Asian Eddie: Yeah i feel u homie, what even worse is miss E ain’t lettin me lay her pipes!
Crack: What?
Asian Eddie: Nuthin ma, wa u wan?
Crack: Alright little homie hook me up with those hand, sliced potatoes, dipped in the finest deep fat frier, to come out a tanned shade of golden boi - and a 747? (that means jumbo sausage in my brain!)
Asian E: Alright boi, wu-tang clan aint nufin to fuck wit! That will be £2.50.
So i pays my little ninja and bounce like a space hopper down this side street home… peepin this girl who live across the street with a very tender bum bum I walk at a safe distance as not to seem like that strange guy from across the street who is always door watchin!….
Anyway I see this stencil of like a royal feathered hat thing and want to catch some snaps so I put my opened chipitas and sauagisimo on the ledge bring out my camera and just as my index finger goes to flic…. some albatross of a seagull sneaks down from yonder and takes the one thing Im looking forward to - my 747!! I’m miffed at this point so I abort mission stencil flick and chase this boquemoth bird down the street ensuring it drops half my 747 to the dirty stank pavement!! Still miffed and brain damn near hemeraging!! I pick up whats left of my half devoured plane wrack and chuck it at the seagull.
Whats worse is the little fascist caught it in it’s mouth, said thank you and flipped me the bird!!! I say we exterminate those bitches!!! Crack-one over and out!!!!
Filed under: Man's Got To Eat
Alright you know that the man dem gots to eat, so here’s a new recipe for the hungry fam out there. Mans got to cook and eat and all them tings!!
Gutter Roulades and some Spinach
4 Chicken Breasts
8 Slices of Pancetta
24 Sage Leaves
Salt and Pepper
8 Cocktail Sticks
1 Big Bag of Spinach
1 Clove of Garlic
Plenty of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Some Greaseproof Paper
Tenderising Mallet or Rolling Pin or any object that you can pound a chicken breast with
OK, first things first. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees centigrade/350 fahrenheit. Get those breasts and cut them in half along the side, so that they are thinner and easier to roll up in a minute. Then you gots to put your greaseproof over that chicken and Pound it with your chosen chicken beating stick. I’m telling you, pound it like it just gunned your mum and tried to chirps your little sister, it’s got to be flattened! But try not to make too many holes in it. Next thing is to lay 3 sage leaves across each one and season with a little S and P.
Next is to roll them up, then get your pancetta and wrap your boy up nice and tight and secure it with a cocktail stick. Check the flick below for reference.
Next get a frying pan and put in a swig of olive oil, not too much, and put it on a high heat. When the oil’s hot, put your fellers in and get them browned all over. This should take about 5 mins. When done, put in a roasting tin and add 2 tablespoons of water and cover with some foil. Slap that in the chamber (oven) and play the waiting game for approx 30 mins. Now you can whip up the spinach. Get a large saucepan and fill with the spinach. Boil a kettle of water and pour over and put on a medium heat. It will shrink quickly and should take only 5 mins to cook. Drain that. You could try and squeeze out some of the water, failing that, just let it sit in the colinder in a sink for a bit. Finely chop your garlic or garlic press that, mix it up with the spinach, add like 2 or 3 tablespoons of the olive oil and shower with a little salt and pepper. Think of the FLAVES man! You can serve that with them banga spuds I showed you on my last posts. GUTTER
Basically, once thats all done thats it bruvs! Enjoy, but don’t laugh. Gettin fed ain’t a damn thing funny.
Guerilla Dinner Crew
Yo peeps I’m going to show you how to re-create some of my favourite gourmet masterpieces straight off the top of the noggin, right out of your kitchen. First up I cooked this banging luncheon special for our boy Jackson, check it out.
Waste Baked Sausages with Smashed New Potatoes and Broccoli
Ok, here’s what you need to get started:
6 standard sized good-quality bangers or 8 chipolatas
1 small punnet of cherry tomatoes
1 large white onion
7 or 8 new potatoes
1 broccoli
Loads of Thyme
1 clove of garlic
Some extra virgin olive oil
Good quality red wine vinegar
Heaps of salt and pepper
Firstly set the oven to 180 centigrade or 350 fahrenheit. Slice up the onion and lay it on the bottom of a small roasting tin. Dice the tomatoes and lay on top. Get those little sausage chaps and put them on the bed of vegetables. Slice the clove of garlic and put them over and around the sausages, strip about 7 or 8 thyme twigs and sprinkle the leaves all over those fellers. Finally, give it a good drizzle of olive oil and season with a pinch of salt and pepper. Slap it in the oven for 35 - 40 minutes, turning periodically making sure that your boys get a nice tan all over.
While thats in the chamber, cut your potatoes into quarters and boil them in a pan for as long as it takes to cook them, usually about 20 minutes, or until you can easily stab them with a blunt knife. Drain that. With a fork, crush them up roughly and drizzle 2 to 3 tablespoons of the vinegar, a liberal pinch of salt and pepper, strip off some more thyme and add with a generous amount of olive oil, and combine. Make sure to do this all whilst its still steaming it really adds to the flaves.
Then just boil or steam your broccoli. Try to leave it a little crunchy as this allegedly retains more of the nutrients which is never a bad thing. (Broccoli, along with bananas, are supposedly great for replacing the seratonin levels in your body, munch that!)
Now your sausages are done, let them stand for 5 minutes before serving, all those porky juices will have gone through the veg and caramelised that.
And there you have it. Bang.
Oh yeah, my boy Nick Harriman has got to receive some props for this one, I remember he did something similar with rosemary. Get up it like a hand up a muppet. You’re a culinary daddy.
